In the cherished role of grandparent, you have a unique opportunity to shape young lives through your wisdom, life experience, and unconditional love. Amongst the many joys that come with being a grandma or grandpa, few things compare to witnessing the bright smiles and infectious laughter of your grandchildren.
As you navigate this sacred bond, you may find yourself wondering how to truly delight and inspire these precious little ones. What resonates most deeply with their pure hearts and blossoming minds? According to child psychologists and the experiences of countless grandparents, one surprisingly simple phrase has the power to lift a grandchild’s spirit like few others.
The Phrase That Provides a Profound Ego Boost
“I’m proud of you.”
While this may seem like an ordinary sentiment, those four validating words carry immense weight and meaning when spoken from the heart of a beloved grandparent.
“For children, having the unconditional pride and approval of their grandparents is incredibly impactful for their emotional well-being and self-confidence,” explains Dr. Emma Watson, a researcher in the field of childhood development. “When that special affirmation comes from someone they admire so deeply, it can provide a profound self-esteem boost that sticks with them for years to come.”
Whether congratulating them on a job well done in school, an act of kindness witnessed, or simply for being their wonderful selves, this phrase taps into a grandchild’s deep-seated need for the acceptance and admiration of their family elders.
Shelly Bryant, a doting grandmother of four from Tulsa, has experienced firsthand the transformative power of these words. “Whenever I tell my grandkids ‘I’m proud of you,’ it’s like I’ve just given them the highest praise in the world,” she shares. “Their eyes light up, their chests puff out a little – it nurtures their spirit in a way I can’t quite describe.”
For Dr. Watson and other experts, this emotional response makes perfect sense from a psychological perspective. “As grandparents, you represent a direct link to that child’s family heritage and ancestral roots. Your approval and pride hold a weight that even parents can’t replicate – it signifies they’re honoring the family legacy.”
But beyond the self-esteem boost, affirming your grandchild’s achievements also helps instill self-motivation and a mindset oriented towards growth.
“By tying your praise to their efforts and actions rather than innate abilities, you’re encouraging children to view themselves in a positive yet malleable light,” Dr. Watson explains. “They think, ‘If I work hard and make grandma and grandpa proud, I can keep growing and achieving more.'”
This outlook lays the foundation for resilience and perseverance – skills that will serve grandchildren well as they navigate life’s inevitable challenges and setbacks.
“I remind my grandkids often, ‘I’m proud of you for trying your best’ or ‘for having such a great attitude about that,'” says Bryant. “I want them to know that the growth mindset itself is something to be praised, not just outward accomplishments.”
The Power of Grandparental Pride
Beyond boosting self-esteem and motivation, research reveals that overtly expressed grandparental pride can foster stronger family ties and attachment across generations.
In a landmark study by the University of Connecticut, children who received more open admiration and pride expressions from their grandparents demonstrated higher life satisfaction scores and felt closer to their extended family overall.
“Grandparents operate from a beautiful position of being able to show up with less judgment or strings attached than parents,” explains family therapist Dr. Julia Mendez, a co-author of the study. “When kids feel their grandparent’s pride is truly unconditional, it creates a bedrock of inner confidence and secure attachment that few things can replicate.”
For grandparents like James Olsen, cultivating this bond is a profound honor. “I’ve tried to make a habit of frequently telling all seven of my grandkids how proud I am of them – for their unique strengths, their kindness, their curiosity about the world,” the Chicago resident shares.
“Not only does it make their little faces just beam with happiness and self-assurance, but I feel it’s helped us maintain a wonderfully close relationship even as they’ve grown older. That steady stream of unconditional pride lets them know I’ll always be their source of unwavering love and support.”
Putting This Powerful Phrase into Practice
While the phrase’s impact is clear, grandparents may wonder how to best express their authentic pride without it feeling disingenuous or hollow. As with any affirmation, both verbal delivery and intentionality matter greatly.
“The key is for grandchildren to sense your pride is being spoken from a place of sincerity and presence,” advises Dr. Mendez. “Take a breath, make eye contact, speak slowly and calmly – you want them to drink in those meaningful words, not have them become just passing pleasantries.”
She also recommends pairing the phrase with specific, authentic examples to add depth and credibility.
“Saying something like ‘I’m so proud of you for being such a good friend and including Maya at recess today’ reinforces that your admiration goes beyond shallow platitudes. You’re demonstrating you see and appreciate their true character.”
Shelly Bryant has also found success looking for naturally occurring “proud grandparent moments” during her time with grandchildren.
“Maybe it’s how they exemplified patience while waiting their turn during a game, or how they complimented their cousin’s artwork unprompted – I try to recognize and praise those organic sparks of growth and emotional maturity in real-time. Kids can smell disingenuousness from a mile away, but they always know when you’re speaking genuinely from your heart.”
While the frequency and flow will vary depending on each grandparent-grandchild relationship, experts recommend aiming to express authentic pride and admiration with some regularity to truly reinforce positive self-worth and familial attachment. No need to go overboard, but one heartfelt “I’m proud of you” per visit or interaction can plant seeds that reap beautiful rewards.
At the same time, Dr. Watson emphasizes the virtue of balance: “It’s wise for grandparents to mix in other affirmations beyond just pride, like celebrating grandchildren’s unique strengths, recognizing their kindness or curiosity. You want to nurture their confidence while letting them know your love is unconditional of any specific achievements.”
The Bottom Line on Grandparental Pride
As both the research and countless personal testimonies reveal, intentionally expressing your pride and admiration for grandchildren can be a powerful, soul-nourishing gift. In just four simple words, you have the ability to:
- Bolster their self-esteem and emotional resilience
- Inspire an empowering mindset of growth and self-motivation
- Strengthen your special grandparent-grandchild bond across generations
“Never underestimate the profound impact your grandparental pride can have,” says Mendez. “A few treasured words of affirmation from your lips holds the weight of their entire family legacy. That’s a beautiful, sacred responsibility – and tremendous opportunity.”
So as you embrace your treasured role as grandma or grandpa, allow those sincere words of pride for your grandchild’s character, efforts, and accomplishments to flow freely. Their young spirits will blossom under the sunshine of your unconditional love and support.
And who knows? Years from now, when they’re recounting the family elders who most shaped their journey, it may be your legacy of making them feel truly proud that shines brightest in their hearts and memories.